Today's Dare: Ask your spouse to tell you three things that cause him or her to be uncomfortable or irritated with you. You must do so without attacking them or justifying your behavior. This is from their perspective only.
God's Word says: He who blesses his friend with a loud voice early in the morning, it will be reckoned a curse to him. Proverbs 27:14
The words from the mouth of a wise man are gracious.Ecclesiastes 10:12
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I am nervous about this dare! But after the kids go to sleep tonight we will have a "date night". It is normal for us to sit down and talk about stuff like this. BUT it will be hard not to try and "explain" why I act certain ways!! And I will need to be ready to answer the same questions about him b/c I know he will ask. I will post later how our talk goes! AND I will pray for all of us to have patience during this Q&A. I KNOW this will be a wonderful dare for all of our marriages if we take it to heart!!
ReplyDeleteOk I laughed at "If you are thinking your spouse - not you- is the one who needs work in this area"... I just told you about the smacking. LOL!!! :) Definitely what I needed to hear because I AM being ignorant and selfish.
ReplyDeleteI wanted to give Chris time to think about it (my husband doesn't like to be put on the spot) so I sent him an email this morning telling him to think about it today and we can talk about it tonight. Stashia, I agree with you. I think Chris will ask it the other way too.
Rebecca, you said the weekends are harder because they are home with us. Do you think it is a good idea for me to read the next 2 days today? I was thinking I could then grab the book and refresh myself on the dare each morning.
UHOH. I already have a feeling I am going to have a hard time not being defensive and justifying my actions! Lord help me!! We will be driving to houston today, so we will have PLENTY of time to talk about this! But I have a feeling he is going to catch on sooner, rather than later about what I'm doing! He already asked me multiple times last night "why did you ask what you could do for me?" So I think he thinks "something is up". LOL Love ya'll!!!
ReplyDeleteI am praying for each and everyone one of you on this dare. (not that I'm not already )
ReplyDeleteReason being is it's not ever easy hearing things you may already know/think about yourself from someone else and feeling or wanting to justify your actions.
(Just remember the LORD KNOWS YOUR HEART and that's all that really matters. Tame your tongue.)
Especially if the delivery comes through EMAIL. That was my only choice because I KNEW if I asked him in person I would probably start crying and he would not tell me ALL 3 things.
(And yes I have been working on the "it's not about me" part but let's just say I'm hormonal this week, if you get my drift)
Ladies I won't be sharing all that he wrote back to me because I don't want to embarrass myself nor him anymore than I already have.
However I will be praying for you all to not get emotional, have hurt feelings or get defensive when doing this dare and how the answers are delivered as well as accepted.
I will say this, I am thankful that I emailed him because it confirmed what the Lord had already placed on my heart and helped me to continue to makes changes not only for my spouse but for my family and friends as well.
Chris just asked why I wanted him to tell me the 3 things. I told him I just wanted to be a better wife and mother and that this was the best way to know how to do it. We're going to talk about it tonight.
ReplyDeleteThis is hard! :) It should be interesting to see if they say stuff we already know or if it will be a surprise.
Thanks for sharing. So it looks like I need to email these questions to Chad to give him a heads up because he tends to speak before he thinks, so I need to give him time to think for both of our sakes!!!
ReplyDeleteAlicia, If he does start asking more questions just tell him it is stuff we are talking about in mom's study OR you can just blame your good attitude on Davelyn!! :)
Michelle, So glad we are riding together to the retreat tomorrow. :) I am sure we will have lots to talk about!
PRAYING FOR ALL OF US TODAY!!!!
This is a hard one. I am having trouble on this one because this is my second round with love dare so if I keep asking him and we keep talking about it he is going to wonder why I can't let it go. So I think I will do a "follow up" conversation and see how that goes.
ReplyDeleteTara-I would try to read Sat and Sun today and see if that helps you, especially since it is the first weekend. Great idea! I will try it also and see if that helps my situation. That way you will just be ready in case you are like us and don't have a lot of time to yourself over the weekend.
Praying for you all on a hard day.
Chris just responded to my email about what I can do for him. He asked if I could get his hair cut for him. LOL... Thought it was funny!
ReplyDeleteHave a great weekend everyone. I, too, will be praying for us. :)
HA! Chad wont answer the question! He wont even write it down. I guess God is giving me some grace?!?! Either way, I told him that I really wanted him to give me an answer!
ReplyDeleteDaniel won't answer me either!! He did say that he wishes that I would speak my mind and say how I actually feel instead of just trying to make everyone else happy. This is something I have known that I need to work on already. I am SUCH a people pleaser, and often at my own detriment. So I was happy that he wants the same thing for me. The other thing he said irritated him was that...wait for it... that I am not a superhero or have any super powers! *rollseyes* He is so not used to being serious!! LOL I told him that wouldn't fly and that I wanted to have his REAL answers by midnight tonight. We shall see...
ReplyDeleteAnd what's this retreat you ladies are going to!!? I'm jealous! I want a retreat!!! :P
Ladies take it as a blessing if they did not respond to the dare! It's the end of the evening and I STILL can't get over the response.
ReplyDeleteIt's crazy how we are all blogging and talking about our husbands responses. When I read each of your responses to the dares we have been given I just sit here and think about how God has put all you ladies in my life. Each of you have blogged something that I can totally relate to or say that it is something I have done or thought as well as your husband and my husband having some characteristics in common.
Oh Men!!!! Can't live with them can't live without them.
okay, so after the kids went down and the house was calm, we talked. He told me he could only come up with 2, and they are 2 that have known! One was taking forever to order at a eating place :)
ReplyDeleteAnyway, we had a great talk, it was VERY hard not to respond and justify why I do the things I do!
Such a hard one! It is so hard not to get defensive and explain and justify how we are!! This is such a few days of getting to the dirt of who we are as women: such emotion and relational stuff!
ReplyDeleteI'm so excited you guys are keeping up with this. I'm actually in Lufkin at my parents house this weekend so I'll post both Day 6 and Day 7 now. Love you!
Chris just gave me 2 things. 1 - too much time on FB after he is home. :) I knew that would be one. So you'll know why I won't be answering you after 530-6p. 2 - at times I'm not respectful. :( We had a wonderful talk about it! He was really sweet. He finished with, "BUT now I want to tell you some reasons I think you are a wonderful mother and wife." I was super thankful. :)
ReplyDeleteMichelle-*hugs* Sorry you are having a hard time processing everything. It is never easy to hear our weaknesses...even when we know them already. :*(
ReplyDeleteTara-Chris is such a sweetie to follow it up that way! I <3 it!!
Okay, so I got my second thing today....and it was that sometimes I am passive/aggressive. (of course he pointed it out to me RIGHT when i was being passive/aggressive! lol) I know this about myself, and in the past month have really been working on it. So I'm glad that he actually shared another one with me.